a novel idea

my youngest quit nursing a few months ago. YEAH! i mean, it was fun and all, but it is SO nice to have them back. even though one is smaller than the other. SO, i just realized i can now tuck my shirts in. 3 years i've avoided it and 2 years before that....isabel nursed til i was about 6 mths pregnant with elias SO i've worn untucked shirts for about 5 years now. not that all shirts should be tucked in, but with a big belt, low-cut jeans and the right shirt, my fat rolls look almost non-existent....if i hold my breath and don't sit down....but i can TUCK my shirt in!

p.s. if anyone is wondering why you can't tuck your shirt in when you're nursing...it's because it is a major PAIN to tuck and re-tuck and tuck and re-tuck and tuck and re-tuck everytime your kid wants a sip. which sometimes is more often than not....

constant interruption

this is how it goes. my day. not really my day. the day. my kids day. somehow i've morphed into a being who answers to a 13 year old, an 11 year old, a 8 year old, a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old. and today i wanted another one! i can hear sharon's voice ringing in my head "WHAT THE HELL?". i know, i know, it's insane. it's crazy. i mean, right now, the 13 year old is laying on the floor WAITING PATIENTLY for the computer. i mean, on the floor right at my feet. there are graham cracker crumbs in MY bed from someones afternoon snack in MY bed. i mop, they track in dirt. i clean the toilets, they pee all over them. i wash their clothes, they dirty them. 5 minutes after they get them out of the clean clothes. i spend hours making a great meal. they turn up their noses, push the food around the plate and get a bowl of cereal. and i want another one of these beings to interrupt my life, to give me kisses when i least expect it, to hug me all day, to giggle when i tell a joke, to smile at me for no reason. i should stop while i'm ahead. i should be logical. but everything in me says this is what I was made to do. i mean, i really don't have anything else to do at the moment. (which is precisely the reason to NOT have more!) no pressing dreams. no major talents that need to be unleashed. i had a great life before kids and i really have no big desire to go back there or recapture what i once had. it would be futile anyway as life tends to change and you can never really go back. so my day, the day will constantly be interrupted now and for today....i'm okay with that. my eldest just SIGHED. "are you ALMOST done???!!!" yes, no, maybe so.......

coffee

never did i think myself a coffee snob. never did i think myself addicted to coffee. BUT in the past two years my taste buds have overruled my brain. i now can taste the difference between different roasts. when they said coffee was like wine and you could actually have coffee tastings, i scoffed. but now, i believe them. those elite coffee people who have ruined my life. starbucks has been deemed emergency ONLY. that may be EXTREME emergency after yesterdays mild emergency latte that actually tasted SALTY....yuck. no longer will coffee be easy. i will now be relegated, like my husband has been for years, to find the perfect cup or go without. i always LAUGHED my head off at him for bringing his own espresso pot, espresso and a one-burner camp stove on ANY trip we were on. gas station parking lots, rest area parking lots, hotel rooms, the homes of friends.....he would brew his own. "coffee SNOB" i would say shaking my head and rolling my eyes. now i will be joining him...only i'll have to tote my own half and half and a handheld frother......

where i'd rather be right now......

the youngest of five

last night when i was putting him to bed (he's 2). i was crooning a lullaby..."rock a bye my baby, rock a bye my boy, rock a bye my sweetie-pie....." and was interrupted by a pat on the mouth with his hand "no, mom, no....i a dude". guess baby days are OVER! no...that doesn't mean there will be another one anytime soon. although it did bring pangs. sometimes i think, with me, there will always be pangs.

i'm ready for summer and to be done with school. i know...it's ONLY march. it is SO hard to homeschool during jan, feb and march. it really, truly can suck and it's all i can do to keep doing it.

coffee....is..calling....

redeemed

avery (11) at dinner last night said, "WOW, mom! you look younger...like WAY younger...like you're about 28!"