i'm just a fake writer. i like to distribute my thoughts on my blog and on facebook. i realize that i am a bad grammar person. i make constant mistakes. i don't really even edit my writing i just write like it's my own personal diary that no one will ever see. but that's me. i don't really care. really.
i once took a writing class with my husband. the man i deeply love. my best friend in the whole world. i dropped the class. he's a real writer. i'm competitive.
we had to bring in samples of our journal. and read them aloud. we all sat around a table nervously reading the thoughts from our brain that we had tried to capture on paper. i read mine. quiet. and then a "oh, that's nice" from the professor. the process kept going around the table until it got to my husband. my husband. the real writer. he read his work. the teacher put a hand to her breast, sighed and practically fell upon her desk writhing in ecstasy. she was about 65. i should have been proud that my husband could ellicit such a reaction. i should have smiled and looked around at the class and said "yep, he's mine". they might not have noticed because they were all writhing and in tears as well. but no. promptly after that class i went to the office of wichita state university and dropped the class. no way was i going to sit through THAT every week.
so. i have a blog. he does not. i doodle and journal little things on my grocery list. he does not. i have hopes that he will one day write again cuz i'm over myself. i like to think i could take a class with him again and make it through to the end.....
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
hold on
the other day i was frantically nauseous about having a teenager. my friend melanie put it really well. she said it's like we're first time moms again. there's all this teenagery behavior and it's like having a new newborn. you have NO clue what to do with them. sadly, you can't just hold them, feed them, change them and make them happy. no, now they have opinions and they REALLY like to make them known. they have a brain that thinks, ponders, worries, plans, loves, and all that other stuff. unfortunately, sometimes their brains and our brains are in collision mode.
my husband's answer to it all is to "put your seatbelt on". melanie and i decided it needed to be a 5-POINT harness type.
i'm learning that i can't completely control my teenagers. they have to learn to do that themselves. i sometimes have to just stand by and watch. urgh. why can't i just clean up the mess like when they were two? i have to admit i do have a pretty great teen. he does have some pretty great friends. REALLY great friends. that's good.
it's just that i'm living with a 6'2" manish looking person who really isn't a man yet. you sometimes catch glimpses of a man...he's got a really good example. what i snicker at are the eye rolls, the hair flips, the "debating", the questioning. he's trying to figure it all out.
like every mom i thought the baby days would last FOREVER. it really seems like they will when you're in them. but here i am. he's got about 4-5 more years with us and that seems like a tiny amount in the scheme of things. thankfully, i've got 4 others behind him. i mean i'm really glad i still have a cute 4 year old who gets his words mixed up and runs everywhere and is still kind of pudgy and smells like a little kid. by the time he's 15 i'll be riding without a seatbelt. i'll be so comfortable in the role of "mom of a teenager" nothing will surprise me. not that i'll have it all figured out, i'll just (hopefully) have figured out how to relax. you know, by the time you've had the third or fourth newborn, you realize they're not going to break. they can cry and it won't kill them. other people ARE able to hold them and love on them!
by the time you've had your third or fourth toddler you realize that ice cream for breakfast sometimes isn't such a bad thing, and buying candy everytime you take one to the store just to keep them happy won't lead to sudden death. you lighten up. so, it has to be the same with teens. that is, until i get to my girls and that, my friends will be a WHOLE 'nother story.
my husband's answer to it all is to "put your seatbelt on". melanie and i decided it needed to be a 5-POINT harness type.
i'm learning that i can't completely control my teenagers. they have to learn to do that themselves. i sometimes have to just stand by and watch. urgh. why can't i just clean up the mess like when they were two? i have to admit i do have a pretty great teen. he does have some pretty great friends. REALLY great friends. that's good.
it's just that i'm living with a 6'2" manish looking person who really isn't a man yet. you sometimes catch glimpses of a man...he's got a really good example. what i snicker at are the eye rolls, the hair flips, the "debating", the questioning. he's trying to figure it all out.
like every mom i thought the baby days would last FOREVER. it really seems like they will when you're in them. but here i am. he's got about 4-5 more years with us and that seems like a tiny amount in the scheme of things. thankfully, i've got 4 others behind him. i mean i'm really glad i still have a cute 4 year old who gets his words mixed up and runs everywhere and is still kind of pudgy and smells like a little kid. by the time he's 15 i'll be riding without a seatbelt. i'll be so comfortable in the role of "mom of a teenager" nothing will surprise me. not that i'll have it all figured out, i'll just (hopefully) have figured out how to relax. you know, by the time you've had the third or fourth newborn, you realize they're not going to break. they can cry and it won't kill them. other people ARE able to hold them and love on them!
by the time you've had your third or fourth toddler you realize that ice cream for breakfast sometimes isn't such a bad thing, and buying candy everytime you take one to the store just to keep them happy won't lead to sudden death. you lighten up. so, it has to be the same with teens. that is, until i get to my girls and that, my friends will be a WHOLE 'nother story.
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