the other day i was frantically nauseous about having a teenager. my friend melanie put it really well. she said it's like we're first time moms again. there's all this teenagery behavior and it's like having a new newborn. you have NO clue what to do with them. sadly, you can't just hold them, feed them, change them and make them happy. no, now they have opinions and they REALLY like to make them known. they have a brain that thinks, ponders, worries, plans, loves, and all that other stuff. unfortunately, sometimes their brains and our brains are in collision mode.
my husband's answer to it all is to "put your seatbelt on". melanie and i decided it needed to be a 5-POINT harness type.
i'm learning that i can't completely control my teenagers. they have to learn to do that themselves. i sometimes have to just stand by and watch. urgh. why can't i just clean up the mess like when they were two? i have to admit i do have a pretty great teen. he does have some pretty great friends. REALLY great friends. that's good.
it's just that i'm living with a 6'2" manish looking person who really isn't a man yet. you sometimes catch glimpses of a man...he's got a really good example. what i snicker at are the eye rolls, the hair flips, the "debating", the questioning. he's trying to figure it all out.
like every mom i thought the baby days would last FOREVER. it really seems like they will when you're in them. but here i am. he's got about 4-5 more years with us and that seems like a tiny amount in the scheme of things. thankfully, i've got 4 others behind him. i mean i'm really glad i still have a cute 4 year old who gets his words mixed up and runs everywhere and is still kind of pudgy and smells like a little kid. by the time he's 15 i'll be riding without a seatbelt. i'll be so comfortable in the role of "mom of a teenager" nothing will surprise me. not that i'll have it all figured out, i'll just (hopefully) have figured out how to relax. you know, by the time you've had the third or fourth newborn, you realize they're not going to break. they can cry and it won't kill them. other people ARE able to hold them and love on them!
by the time you've had your third or fourth toddler you realize that ice cream for breakfast sometimes isn't such a bad thing, and buying candy everytime you take one to the store just to keep them happy won't lead to sudden death. you lighten up. so, it has to be the same with teens. that is, until i get to my girls and that, my friends will be a WHOLE 'nother story.
5 comments:
So well said. I have to say, I have had it very easy with my first teenager. He went through what little rebellion (mostly attitude) he seemed to have when he was 13-14. I know--he's still just 16 so more could easily be on the way. But somehow he has always felt years older than he really is, even more magnified since we are starting the college application process....
And YAY! You blogged!
Are you going to Sanjay's wedding?
I feel like some days I can pretend the whole teenage thing isn't happening but other days it smacks me in the face. It's scary and I'm not sure it gets easier with each one because they're all so differnt!!
oh, I'm so glad you blogged.
He will turn out fine. Just like you said, he has some really REALLY great friends. ;)
Oh, Julie. I love this post. Thanks for writing it.
I feel like my oldest is such a guinea pig for us. Everything is new. Everything is a little scary.
My fourth child will be 1 at the end of the month--she still sleeps in a bouncy seat, she doesn't walk and I actually bought some of her baby food instead of making all of it (gasp!)
Our twins write on the wall and we take pictures of it--our oldest would have been scrubbing with a magic eraser as we rambled on and on about being responsible and trustworthy, blah, blah, blah....
But, it's good for me to realize in these days of wondering if I will always have to bathe four people, and cut their finger nails and pour their milk and tie their shoes that these may be actually be the "easy" years. I've often suspected that might be the case, but if I admit it out loud how could I continue to complain so much? :)
I'm glad wise women like you go before me.....
I remember when my oldest was born I started dreading the day he hit his teens. The middle school years were no fun, but mainly because boys are just silly at that age it seems and become deaf.
I have to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed having teens! My oldest officially left his teen years yesterday when he turned 20 (sniff, sniff - WHERE did the years go?). I have four more to follow in his footsteps, #2 is now 15 and female - WOW what a huge difference - give me boys any day!
But all in all it's been positive, and a bit shocking. I actually like teenagers - I even like their friends!
God be with you and give you patience, lots and lots of patience, and a tremendous sense of humor! ;-)
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